What Tears Me On The Inside
by Mina Mink
Summary: Sookie Stackhouse and Eric Northman have been best friends since they were 6 years old and over the time Sookie has falling madly in love with him but when Eric gets married will she be able to move on, tell him or will she be alone forever. first fanfic
1. What Tears Me On The Inside

_Here I am, Sookie Stackhouse, on the outside to everyone looking in I'm the most happiest and joyful person you could every meet. But on the inside I'm surrounded by pits of depression just looking for on to fall into._

It all started when I was 6 years old. I met a boy while I was playing outside on my farm in Louisiana. His name was Eric. He was an average kind of boy that chased and beat you up for teasing him. After that first meeting where he beat up a boy at the bus stop for pushing me down, we kept on meeting at the bus stop and talking to each other. That only lasted for a little while though. After that, we would meet at the fence in my front yard all the time and were always seen together there.

I would tell Eric all my secrets. He was very quiet and would just listen to what I had to say. I found him easy to talk to and I could talk to him about everything. In school we had separate friends but when we got home we would always talk about what happened in school.

One day I told him that a guy I liked hurt me and broke my heart. Eric comforted me and told me everything would be okay. He gave me words of encouragement and helped me get over him. I was happy and thought of him as a real friend. But I knew that there was something else about him that I liked. I thought of it that night and figured that I loved him as a good friend.

All through high school till graduation, we're always together and I thought it was normal as we were good friends. But I knew deep inside that I really felt differently. On graduation night, even though we had different dates for the prom, I really wanted to be with him. After everybody went home that night, I went to his house and told him that I wanted to see him. Well, that night was my big chance and all I did was just sit there with him looking at the stars and talking about our future plans instead. I looked into his eyes and listened to him talk about his dreams. He wanted to get married and settle down. He also said he wanted to be rich and successful. I told him about my dreams and cuddle next to him.

I went home hurt because I didn't tell him how I felt about him. I wanted to tell him that I love him so badly but I was too scared and frightened to do so. Why would he want a girl like me anyway? I would always think to myself. I decided to let my feelings go and told myself that someday I would tell Eric how I felt. All through college, I wanted to tell him about my feelings but he always had someone with him. He grew up and be came quite the ladies and it broke my heart to relies I would never be one of those girls.

After graduation, he got a job in New York. I was happy for him but at the same time I was sad to see him go. I was also sad because I didn't tell him how I felt. But still, I couldn't let him know then as he was leaving for his big job. I just kept it to myself and watched him board the plane. I cried as I hugged him for what I felt was going to be the last time. I went home that night and cried my eyes out. I felt hurt that I didn't tell him what I felt for him inside my heart.

I got a job as a secretary and then worked my way up to be a computer analyst. I was proud of what I had accomplished. One day, I got a letter with an invitation to a marriage. It was from Eric. I was happy and sad at the same time. I now knew that I could never be with him and we could only be friends from now on. I went to the wedding the next month. It was a big occasion. All our friends and family were there happy to finally see Eric settle down. But I could tell that as they glanced at me they knew I was heart broken for what was about to happen. It seemed like everyone knew how much I cared for Eric except Eric himself. There was a big church wedding and grand reception at a hotel. I met his bride a beautiful women named Sophie- Ann and for the first time in years I saw Eric in the fleash. I fell in love when him again on that day. But I held back so it wouldn't spoil what should be the happiest day in his life. I tried to have fun that night but it was killing me inside watching him being so happy with another person. I tried to appear to be happy to cover up the sadness and tears inside me.


	2. She Has Got Go

_**2 MONTHS LATER **_

After the wedding as I was waiting in the airport Eric comes running out of nowhere to say good- bye and that he would come visit soon. That was 2 months and 3 days ago. And that why I am now running around the house like a bat out of hell and cleaning like a slave in the heat. Just as I'm finishing the guest room I hear a knock on the door.

Eric.

As I open the door I'm met with 6 foot 4 inches of pure blue eyed perfection.

"Eric" I yell as I jump into his awaiting arms.

"Sook" he says as he picks me up and twirls me around.

"Oh I've missed you so much" I say as he puts me down.

"You too, sorry I couldn't come sooner I've been busy with getting back from the honeymoon and stuff." He says setting a bunch of bags down.

"That's a lot of bags for one person don't you think" I say laughing which soon stop when I hear what's being said next.

"Umm… see I forgot…." He was cut off by

"Hi Sookie" Sophie-Ann

JUST. FUCKING. GREAT

"Uhh. Hi." I say in my fake happy voice. She doesn't notice but Eric sees something's wrong.

"I ….. Sorry I forgot to tell you but it was so last minute, its okay right." He says looking truly guilty.

"Yeah, sure."

NO.

"So it's no problem if I stay here."

Says chippy mic chipperson

"No, of course not"

YES.

"Are you sure, because if not we can stay at a hotel." Eric said trying to make everyone feel comfortable.

"Yes, please stay"

NO, GO NOW

'Shut up, Sookie, stop being so mean she done nothing to you'. I say to my bitch of an inner voice.

"Okay, now that that's settled where are we staying?" Sophie asks

"Umm …. The guest room is upstairs first room on the left."

" Great" she all but squeaks in a fake happy voice I would know that tone anywhere I'm like the inventor of it.

She grabs what I assume are her bags and head toward the guest room.

"Oh… dinner will be done in 30." I yell at her retreating form.

"Okay thanks" she mumbles without a second glance, as her and her heels click down the hallway. What a bitch.

"So what are you making?" Eric asks after watching the whole interaction.

"I'm sorry what?" I asked startled because I forgot he was standing there.

"Umm dinner, what are you making." Your wife's head in a pot of boiling clams if I have a say. I think to myself.

"Oh umm turkey casserole" I say

"My favorite" he jokes

"Anything you eat is your favorite food." I laugh

"You know me so well." He laughs back

"You can go put your bags up and dinner should be ready when you finished" I say walking towards the kitchen.

"Wait Sook hold on I go you something" he calls after me.

He hands me a little plastic bag out of his back pocket. Inside is a little brown leather bracelet with the words "Sookie" engraved into it and thick braided leather straps for the clasp.

"I love it, thank you Eric" I say as I hug him

"Your welcome, it's for when I leave you can look at it you think of me." He says looking dead in my eyes.

I do that enough with out the bracelet.

"Well I better go unpack" he says

"Hey, how long are you all planning on staying? I ask

"Umm a week or two at the most" he stops to answer

"It that to long" he adds

"No you're welcome to stay as long as you like"

But your bitch of a wife has to go. I add in my head

An hour and a very awkward dinner later we soy our good-nights.

I head in to my room change in to my tank top and cotton sleep shorts. I was on the verge of sleeping when I hear the most horrifying the ever.

"Oh good… Eric….. Harder….faster please.

Ugh

NO. FUCKING. WAY.


	3. Whats Going On Around Here

**A/N thanks for they reviews so far i know some people are asking for longer chapters and i will be trying my hardest to get those out but this chapter is for eric1705 who asked for a epov but i threw in a little suprise pov too even things out a little but idk if ill be doing another pov for this person.**

**I dont own anything besides my name and they can take but i really hope they dont.**

** and **

**Read on if you dare...**

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><p><strong>EPOV <strong>

When we arrived at Sookie's she seem very upset about Sophie coming and I know its rude and she my wife but I really wanted some alone time with my best friend. I know on the outside Sookie seemed fine but on the inside I knew she was pissed Sophie tagged along. It was literally last minute when she decided she wanted to come, it was the day before I planned on leaving and she got the sudden urge to come see Sookie with me and I have a really nagging feeling she up to something. After the most awkward dinner in the world we all headed to bed. As Sophie was showering I realized I left the bag with my sleeping clothes in it in the car.

"Sophie" I yelled through the closed shower door.

"I left a bag in the car ill be right back" I walked away not waiting for a reply.

Sookie must have been pretty dazed because she barely noticed me as I walked passed her open door. I don't know what happened while I was at the car but as I'm locking the front door I hear the very loud sound of an obviously hard door slam.

What the fuck.

I'm walking up the stair and I can clearly see that the door that was slammed was sure enough Sookie's.

What the hell happened?

When I walked into the bedroom Sophie was lying on the bed reading a book with the most relaxed look on her face.

"Hey, babe you know what's wrong with Sookie" I ask while changing

"I think she really doesn't like my shower singing" she says laughing

"I guest not if it was worth a very loud door slam" I fake laughed back

Though she couldn't tell the difference.

"I wish she would have came over and told me I was being such a problem and I would have gladly stopped" she said looking truly sorry.

"Its all right you can talk to her in the morning" I said crawling in to the bed

"Okay I will" she said reaching over to turn off her lamp and we both feel into a soundless sleep.

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><p><strong>SAPOV<strong>

Just as I'm rinsing off in the shower Eric shouts something a bag and the car, and I hear his retreating foot steps before I can respond.

Ugh, I hate the fucking country bumpkin hell hole of a house. But not as much as I hate the owner of said house. Sookie fucking Stackhouse. The sweet southern belle of Louisiana, an angel sent from god, a person that could do no wrong. She has everything, a nice amount of land, a decent amount of income, and very loyal friends. But I have the one thing I know she wants, but as long as I have anything to do with it, she will never get.

Eric.

As I step out of the shower and dry off I wonder if ours little Cinderella is sleeping yet. Hmmm only one way to find out. I walk out of the bathroom put on my sleeping clothes and make sure I'm comfortable before I yell as loud as it takes for it to carry to the room across the hall.

"Oh god… Eric….. Harder….faster please."

It doesn't take anything but a few seconds for me to hear a bluntly meaningful door slam.

Ahhh I knew that bitch was still up.

Fucking with her is going to be to easy.

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><p><strong>so what do you think will be said in sophies and sookies little im sorry convo.<strong>


	4. Talk To Me

**this is my longest chapter so far a lot of things happen in this chapter. its a sookie your going to want to punch in the face but she will get her head on straight soon.**

see you at the bottom

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><p><strong>SPOV <strong>

I woke up the next morning really pissed off that Eric would do some shit like that and I think that bitch over did the scream on purpose. That stupid whore. I walk down the stairs to start on breakfast and am met with Sophie drinking a glass of water.

"Good morning Sookie" she says smiling brightly

_Ugh I fucking hate her_.

"MmmHmm" I mumble.

"Where's Eric" I asked noticing him wasn't in here.

"He ran out to go get breakfast" she said finishing her water.

"Listen about last night I'm really sorry I was so loud" she said faking guiltiness.

_This bitch doesn't know what the fuck sorry looks like _

"Okay just try to keep it down" I said biting back my anger

"Ill try but you know Eric's just so damn well in bed." She says with such giddiness

_I'm really going to slap this bitch _

"Listen here Soph, Sophie, Sophie-Ann what ever the fuck your name is I know you can tell I don't like you and the only reason I haven't bitch slapped your ass is because your Eric's wife and he's my best friend and I know you don't like me for that very reason…."

"I don't…" she tried to cut me off but I wasn't hearing it I was on a role and this bitch was going to listen.

"I'm not finish talking so don't interrupt me, as I was saying I _know _you don't like me for that very reason but you will not come on my property and disrespect me like you've lost your damn mind and if it ever happens again I wont hesitate to put you in your fucking place." I say and turn to walk out the kitchen.

"And who the fuck are you you're not some goddamn angel, lusting after something that will never be yours." She yells bringing me to a complete stop.

"What the fuck did you just say." I all but squeak out.

"You heard me, your in love with my husband you bitch, he may be so blind to not see you drooling over him like a fat man in a cake factory, but he's MINE and you'll never get your Susie homemaker country bumpkin little hands on him."

"Are you so much of an insecure little bitch to think that I would be that shallow and ruin what he thinks is a good marriage just to have him as my own?"

"I wouldn't underestimate a sneaky little home wrecking whore like you." She says getting closer.

"But I do know that if I even see attempt to look like your getting in the way of my marriage it's on." She says stopping in front of me.

"What's on?" Eric asks walking in the kitchen, kissing Sophie on the lips and coming over to kiss me on the cheek.

"Sookie and I in a girls night out before we head back home." She says with out a falter

_Yeah like that will ever happen _

"Well that will be nice." He says so ignorant to the tension in the room.

"Yeah, you know its really nice outside I'm going to go tan" I say walking towards the steps.

I head upstairs pull out my favorite a bathing suit a yellow stripped top bikini with a matching belt on the navy blue boy short bottoms. After I change I head downstairs and thankfully they are nowhere to been seen. I grab my iPod a bottle of water and pull my hair into a messy bun before I head into the back yard. I'm lying on my back with my eyes closed for about 15 minutes before my sunlight suddenly disappears I open my eyes to see what going on and my vision is filled with Eric and he has a very curious look on his face.

"Hey" I greet him with a small smile

"What going on with you and Sophie, Sookie and please don't lie to me." He says cutting straight to the chase

SHIT.

_What the fuck am I supposed to say._

"What are you talking about?" I ask playing stupid

"Sookie please don't do that and just tell me what's going on." He all but begs

"Where is Sophie anyway?" I ask not wanting her to hear this potential conversation.

"She went to Shreveport to go sight seeing, and don't change the subject I know something's going on between you two and I want to know what it is?" he says coolly but I can the annoyance in his voice.

"There's nothing wrong she perfect." I say shrugging and getting up to walk away.

"Sookie Stackhouse don't walk away from me what the fuck is going on." He yells.

What the fuck is he yelling for he has no right to be mad he's the fucking that bitch in my house and didn't even try to be quiet about it. Then he doesn't even have the balls to apologize about it.

"What the fuck do you want me to say Eric, that I just love being in her presence knowing that she HATES my fucking guts and is not afraid to show it, that I enjoy hearing you FUCK her and her purposefully loud moans knowing I'm across the hall, or this is the best one her being hell bent on making my life a living hell because she so afraid I'm going to take you away from her because evidently everyone one the face of the earth can see that I'm in love with you EXCEPT you because you have your head shoved so far your ASS you don't see what right in front of you." I say finally taking a breath. Finally looking up and looking at Eric's shocked face. Did I really just say all of that?

SHIT.

"What the hell are you talking about, Sophie and I haven't had sex since last week?" he said looking really puzzled

"I heard her moan you name and clearly told you to go faster that's why I closed my door; I didn't want to hear your sexcapade." I whisper, because I'm still a little breathless from my little speech.

"I walked past you door on my way to the car to get my bag and it was open but you looked really sleepy so I kept walking, I was locking the front door when I heard your door slam I asked Sophie what was wrong with you and she said you didn't like her shower singing." He stated

"BITCH!" I yell

"Why haven't you told me that before?" He asks

"Told you what?"

"All of what you said before." He looked truly interested, but I really wasn't ready to have this conversation.

"Because it wouldn't have made a difference." I said walking away again.

"Ugh you're so frustrating" he growled

"How?" I asked

"Because you _neve_r gave me a choice you made that decision _for __**me**_**.**" He yelled

"Well its too late now." I said walking in to the house.

Ill never get a chance like that again.

SHIT.

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><p><strong>Sooo what did you think about sookie in this chapter dont worry erics not going to let this go their going to talk soon but first he has to deal with sophie-ann.<strong>


	5. We All Need To Talk

**EPOV**

I woke up early this morning to go get breakfast so Sookie wouldn't have to cook. I've been out for about an hour so I know Sookie should be up by the time I get back. As I'm walking in the house I now their in the kitchen because I hear their voices, but I can't really make out what their saying, as I get closer I here Sophie make a comment about something being on. I walk in and ask what's on and Sophie says that she and Sookie are going on a girl's night out, which I now is a lie. Sookie excused herself to go tanning, which I new she only did when she has something on her mind.

"Is there anything to do around here?" Sophie asks when Sookie leaves

"Yeah, it's a busier town about 45 minutes up the road you should go look around." I suggested, because I really needed her out the house to talk to Sookie.

"Okay Ill be back in a few hours." She said already walking away.

About 15 minutes after she left I set off looking for Sookie I found her about 30 seconds later in an armchair in the back yard. I stood there for about 2 minutes before she finally opened her eyes.

"Hey" she greeted me with a small smile

"What going on with you and Sophie, Sookie and please don't lie to me." I ask cutting straight to the chase.

"What are you talking about?" she asks playing stupid

"Sookie please don't do that and just tell me what's going on." I all but beg

"Where is Sophie anyway?" She asked trying to change the subject.

"She went to Shreveport to go sight seeing, and don't change the subject I know something's going on between you two and I want to know what it is?" I say coolly but I was really getting annoyed.

"There's nothing wrong she perfect." She says shrugging and getting up to walk away.

"Sookie Stackhouse don't walk away from me what the fuck is going on." I yell.

I hate when she runs away from a problem.

"What the fuck do you want me to say Eric, that I just love being in her presence knowing that she HATES my fucking guts and is not afraid to show it, that I enjoy hearing you FUCK her and her purposefully loud moans knowing I'm across the hall, or this is the best one her being hell bent on making my life a living hell because she so afraid I'm going to take you away from her because evidently everyone one the face of the earth can see that I'm in love with you EXCEPT you because you have your head shoved so far your ASS you don't see what right in front of you." When she's finish I'm pretty sure I had a look of shock on my face. But what the fuck was she talking about me and Sophie haven't had sex since before we left.

"What the hell are you talking about, Sophie and I haven't had sex since last week?" I asked feeling really puzzled.

"I heard her moan you name and clearly told you to go faster that's why I closed my door; I didn't want to hear your sexcapade." she whispers, probably a little breathless from her little speech.

"I walked past you door on my way to the car to get my bag and it was open but you looked really sleepy so I kept walking, I was locking the front door when I heard your door slam I asked Sophie what was wrong with you and she said you didn't like her shower singing." I stated.

"BITCH!" She yells. We are all going to have to sit down and talk about this but I was wondering something now.

"Why haven't you told me that before?" I ask

"Told you what?"

"All of what you said before." I was truly interested

"Because it wouldn't have made a difference." She said walking away again.

"Ugh you're so frustrating" I growled at her

"How?" She asked. Like she really doesn't know when it's so obvious why this pisses me off.

"Because you _neve_r gave me a choice you made that decision _for __**me**_**.**" I yelled

"Well it's too late now." She said walking in to the house.

What the fuck. Really? This conversation is so not over, but I have to deal with Sophie first.

I walk back into the house to find Sookie no where to be seen.15 minutes later I'm sitting on the couch staring at the door waiting for one my girls to walk in we have to get these talks out of the way. Sophie's the first one to walk in; okay I guess she's first.

"Come sit down, Soph." I say when she walks in the living room,

"Umm okay"

"Sookie told me what's been going on, why have you been messing with her she's done nothing to you." I ask cutting to the chase.

"She makes me feel like your pulling away from me." Is all she says.

"Why would you feel like that, she's my best friend and you're my wife, and if its going to stay that way this fighting you both are doing has to stop." I say just as simply as that if this doesn't stop one of them has to go and it sure as hell won't be Sookie she means way too much for me to lose.

"Okay I understand Ill back down from now own." I'm still going to have to watch her I don't believe she will back down so easy.

"That's all I'm asking." Well now that that's over I have one more person I need to talk to. We both turn to the direction of the front door closing. Well here goes nothing.

"Sookie can you come in here for a minute please."


	6. AN Help?

**_I'm so sorry but this is not a chapter but i am half way finish with chapter 6 i'm trying to make it longer than normal and if its not up tomorrow that it should be up by Sunday morning. Okay so the reason i'm writing this is because basically stuck with the story up to the point i had it planned out but the way it ends is not how i want it to so if any one loves this story as much as i do to tag along with me i'm open to not going to be the bitchy author take credit for everything either. _**

**_ just inbox me for the dets _**

**_LOVE YOU ALL THX FOR THE SUPPORT _**

**_Sadie _**


	7. I'm Sorry

Hi everyone, Remember me I hope.

So you all will not think I have abandoned the story I will get you up to snuff on whats been happening in my life.

I'm sorry I haven't been posting as much as I used to but life has unfortunately got in the way. My plan was to start posting on break, but I got hit with a load of break work. So once I got that done I decided I would continue writing but I was cursed with the sadness of two deaths in the family. Once I mourned I decided I would start writing again but of course the bad luck kept coming and my boyfriend broke his foot and I had to be the good girlfriend and take care of him for a awhile. As you can tell by the way this process is going there was only more bad news to come and eventually I got really sick but I have gotten better recently so I finally have time to write again so the chapters will be coming soon. So for those who are still with me thank you so much and please don't leave me now and for those who have left I hope you find your way back somehow.

Thanks and with much love,

Sadie


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